There’s a lot I want to do in my life- ambitions, wishes and dreams I’ve planned out. But what if my plan doesn’t match up with God’s? What then? And why can’t God just show me his will for my life, with color coded, bullet pointed steps written out on a map?
These are the words that run through my head on a daily basis.
I want to be obedient to God. I want his will to be accomplished in my life. I know following his lead is ultimately the best, if sometimes most difficult way. I just wish it didn’t require so much faith and patience.
That’s the whole point, you say? Great.
In college, I obsessed over figuring out God’s will, agonizing over every single decision I made to ensure it was the right one. In my quest for the plan, I forgot to look for the planner.
One Sunday, the pastor at the church I attended at the time said something I’d never heard before. He told us God’s ultimate will for our lives is to know Him more. As long as we’re seeking after Him, we will always be in His will.
Suddenly, everything seemed much more simple and I realized I’d been doing it all wrong. How could I know God’s will if I didn’t take the time to know God himself?
Christ says if we seek him, we will find him. If we are truly seeking him, then everything else will fall into place- although probably not in the way we expect.
If I’m being honest, the reason I have a hard time with the subject of “God’s will,” is that I don’t trust God enough to give me what I “think” I want. I know His way is not my way and I’m terrified this means I won’t get what I want.
Remember at the beginning when I said I wanted God’s will for my life? Well, it’s become evident to me that’s not exactly true- not all the time anyway.
I have it all backwards. I try to make my will God’s will, not the other way around. As a result, I end up missing out on the peace and joy that complete trust in God brings
I am C.S. Lewis’, “… ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because (s)he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea.”
In other words, I tend to hold on so tightly to my own plan that I fail to see that God has something much better for me than I could ever imagine. This has always been an area of struggle for me. I pray for the day when it isn’t.
There is a man I know, who, when you tell him you’ll see him later, he responds, “yes, Lord willing.”
I want that to be my attitude every day, in response to every plan, every hope, every dream- yes, it will happen, Lord willing. And if not, then I will know it just means something better is coming along.
