I think too much. A few days ago, I tried to explain my convoluted thought processes to my husband and he simply looked at me, flabbergasted, and shook his head.
He is a known over-thinker, so coming from him, this reaction was a wake up call. The message was clear: “Chill out. Get outside of your own head and learn to be present in your circumstances”.
What is it I think about? I worry I didn’t come across the way I intended in a conversation. I wish I could change the past. I wonder if I’ll ever attain my dreams. I fear for the future and that I won’t be a good steward and role model for my son. I’m terrified of being a failure.
I become consumed with doubt and anxiety about the smallest things. My thoughts spin out of control, ever collapsing in on themselves. It’s truly a miracle I’m not constantly crumpled in a fetal position on the floor.
This is no way to live. This kind of thinking leads to negativity, hopelessness, and a general paralysis that prevents me from being at all useful.
The problem is that once a thought gets in, I focus on it until it becomes a parasitical resident in my mind. This is why Paul exhorts us to, “take every thought captive.” (2 Cor. 10:5). Once we give a thought power, it will rule us until we kick it out. The easier way is to stop it at the door.
How do we do this? How do we take the power away from insidious thoughts, anxieties, and worries? How do we reclaim our minds?
One way is to be still. My favorite verse, Psalm 46:10, says, “Be still and know that I am God…” These eight words remind me to take a breath, quiet my thoughts, and focus on God, his greatness, and his promises.
For me, being still means turning off my overactive brain. I hate silence because I’m afraid of being alone with my thoughts. So, I usually use music, movies, or tv show- every kind of noise- to drown out my constant inner monologue. However, when God says be still, he means he wants me to shut everything out and listen only to him. I can’t do this with The Crown playing in the background, or replays of my day running through my head.
It’s in the stillness that God speaks. Quieting ourselves and our minds opens the door to God’s word; bringing peace, calm, and potentially, a new perspective. What a relief this is from my typical vicious cycle of thoughts. Maybe I should try being still more often.
