When Horatio Spafford wrote these lyrics, he had just lost his four daughters in a horrific shipwreck while crossing the Atlantic Ocean on the way to Europe. As I’ve listened to the words of this, my favorite hymn, being sung in numerous church services and funerals, I’ve often wondered, if I were to endure such tragedy, would I still be able to say, “It is well?”
About two weeks ago, my uncle passed away after a short, but hard fought battle with liver cancer. To say this was devastating is an understatement. My family has dealt with so much loss over the last few years. It’s hard to handle yet another blow like this.
The night before my uncle passed away, I was able to talk to my cousin for a few minutes on the phone as she sat with her dad in his hospital room. We both had the same question – God, what are you doing? She told me she knew God had a plan, but she had no idea what it was. I didn’t either, and probably never will.
During that week, which I’m now calling Depend on God Bootcamp Week, I had a lot of questions and frustration with God. Because I live hundreds of miles away, I couldn’t be with my family and I absolutely hated it. As they can attest, while sobbing on the phone with them, I started angrily calling everything keeping me from them (mainly distance and crazy expensive plane tickets), “stupid.” In addition, Cameron was on a mission trip in a remote part of the world and I couldn’t even talk to him. I felt completely lost and was struggling to process my emotions without my primary support system there.
I often let other things get in the way of spending time with God. That week, all those distractions, including the person I would normally turn to first, were taken away. I was forced to rely completely on God, and for that, I am thankful.
During this time, God gave me the important reminder that as followers of Christ, we grieve, but we can do so with hope (1 Thess. 4: 13-14). One day, our mourning will be turned into dancing (Psalm 30). In this world, we will have trouble, but we can take heart because Christ has overcome the world (John 16:33).
God is always present, never failing, whereas we humans fail constantly. We can never be there all the time. Although we do our best, we can never truly provide for each other or even love each other the way God does.
God is God. He has always been and will always be. Even when it seems he is not there, he is. He has a plan, even if we can’t see it. We just have to trust him, especially when it may be difficult to do so.
I have experienced trials, sorrow and loss in my life. I have watched as friends and family members have lost parents, siblings, and children. I have heard stories from others who have experienced far more pain than I could ever imagine.
I don’t know why bad things happen. I do know that because we live in a broken and fallen world, they will continue to happen. Yet God is there. He is with us, and he is working in the middle of the mess. Through him, and only through him, like Horatio Spafford, we can say, “it is well with my soul,” no matter how tough it gets. It may take some time, but with God’s strength, we can.
Please pray for my family, especially my aunt and two cousins. My uncle Steve was a wonderful man who loved his family and God very much. We know we will see him again one day, but in the meantime, it’s so hard to be left without him and his love and support. Pray for peace and comfort like my family has never known. I’ve put my uncle’s obituary below so you can get just a taste of what a wonderful person he was.
“Steven D. Allen, age 57 of South Whitehall Township went home to be with his Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, passing away peacefully on July 18, 2017 in the Lehigh Valley Hospital, Cedar Crest with his loving wife of 36 years, Sharon Derr Allen and other loving family members at his bedside. Born at Ft. Hood Texas, he was the son of the late Ralph and Wilma Allen Daniels. Steven worked most of his life as a Crew Chief for South Whitehall Township. He was a member of Emmanuel Assembly of God Church in Allentown, where he served as a board member for 12 years. He was an enthusiastic fisherman and hunter. He was a very proud amateur photographer. He was an avid PC computer gamer. Most of all, he enjoyed and fiercely loved his family at home as well as his church family.
In addition to his loving wife, Sharon, he leaves behind his loving daughter Erin, wife of Chris Johnson, and his loving son Seth, husband of Kelsey Allen. He also leaves behind a stepfather, Frank Daniels of Marion, NC, a brother, Gregory Daniels of Marion, North Carolina and three sisters, Patricia Smothers, Pamela Royston, Penelope Cross and 2 grandchildren.”
