Fall is my favorite time of year – the crisp, cool air, the changing leaves, curling up by the fire with a big mug of hot apple cider and a good book… Oh wait, I live in South Florida where seventy degrees is considered sweater weather and the only changing leaves are the dead brown ones falling off the palm trees.
After growing up in the mountains of North Carolina, where tourists flock to see the beautiful leaves each autumn, my first fall in South Florida was an unpleasant shock to my system. Even though I’ve now lived here for over six years, I still get homesick in the fall. I’m always hopeful we’ll get more than two days of cool weather, or that at least one tree will magically start changing. Every year, I’m disappointed.
I don’t know why I do this to myself. All my life, I have set myself up for failure by having greater expectations than are realistically possible. Presents at Christmas, birthdays, vacations; all lose their shine when compared to the perfect, over the top dream I concoct in my mind.
On our honeymoon, I cried, yes, CRIED because the air conditioner in our room was broken when we got there. I was on Tortola, in the British Virgin Islands, one of the most beautiful places in the world, with the love of my life, and I was sobbing because there was no A/C.
The irony is that I was the one who had picked the hotel and planned the whole itinerary. I had convinced myself I wanted to stay in a place full of culture and history and have a more “authentic” island experience (whatever that means). While checking in, I realized to my dismay that although the hotel was nice, it wasn’t exactly what I’d envisioned.
What I really wanted was a five star all – inclusive resort, with Michelin star quality meals and one of those cabanas by the beach that you see in all those Sandals resort commercials.
I could see the panic in Cameron’s eyes when he realized he was stuck with the crazy, unreasonable person before him for the rest of his life. He deserves all the credit in the world for not running out right then and there and catching the first flight back to the US.
Of course, one of the hotel maintenance workers fixed the air in about five minutes. Once I calmed down and listened to Cameron’s plea to give things a chance, I fell in love with the island and the place where we were staying. I loved it so much that I didn’t want to leave at the end of the week.
Since that day, I’ve completely changed and have never again acted in this spoiled, childish manner.
Do you believe me? I didn’t think so.
As always, I’m a work in progress. I have good days and bad days (or bad years), but I’d like to think I’m learning to manage my expectations in all areas of life. I’m trying to go with the flow and understand when things don’t go according to plan. I’m focusing on enjoying the people I’m with and not always rushing to get to the next thing. Instead of demanding God give me exactly what I want when I want it, the way that I want it, I’m learning to trust his plan is better than mine.
It’s all about re-framing our view. When we place our hope in an unchangeable, perfect, loving Lord, (Hebrews 6:16-20), rather than in this messed up, ever-changing world, life becomes a lot simpler and more enjoyable. We are better able to see challenges as opportunities and mistakes as learning experiences. While disappointment will still strike, it can no longer incapacitate us.
To me, this sounds like great news.
